1. I am thankful for a unique name, one that I have to spell each time on the phone and is often confused with beer.
2. I’m thankful for living in a place with so many polite, good people. I haven’t been sworn at or given the middle finger in so long, I’m developing a complex.
3. I’m grateful for the words that come to me when having a private conversation with my son. It’s hard not to feel guilty for getting extra help from above.
4. I’m thankful for Mountain Dew. If I get in trouble for saying this, I’ll just blame it on Middle-aged Mormon Man.
5. I’m thankful for the knowledge that I am not the slob I used to be. I’m in danger of not getting invited back for the slob rechartering.
6. I’m thankful for vehicles that work, even with strange noises that would cause much fear with lesser souls.
7. I’m thankful for not getting irritated as much as I used to. Must have been when I stopped caring.
8. I’m grateful for a wife who plans events with the precision of a drill sergeant, cares for people enough that she makes Mother Theresa seem like a slacker and lets me hold her hand on Saturdays.
9. I’m thankful for people who make me laugh or think differently.
10. I’m thankful for missionary letters, full of riches of eternity.
11. I’m thankful for people who share my disdain for yams and sweet potatoes. I think there’s six of you now.
12. I’m thankful for people who make it a point not to name drop about famous people they’ve met. Steve Young told me to say this.
13. I’m thankful for having my life prolonged more than once. Makes it harder to justify watching “Everybody Loves Raymond” reruns when there’s work to be done.
14. I’m thankful for my right to rationalize. I can explain practically anything that way, except what happened to all those cherry turnovers last night.
15. I’m thankful for the ability to tell stories. Some of them might even be true.