8 great reasons why I should go all-digital like Newsweek

Now that Newsweek is going all-digital, it’s time for me to switch as well. Some of you Negative Nellies might frown on this, fearing that the sky is falling and this is the end of the world as we know it.

Forget about all that. I see the virtual light, the light that says it’s time for me to turn into Max Headroom with medical bills.

Tell me why this isn’t a win-win situation for dads to go all digital. Meet the new Digital Mike.

1. Digital Mike can’t be asked to do any chores at home. Ever put a motherboard in a load of dishes?

2. Going digital will drastically reduce my cell phone plan. I’ll provide my own coverage.

3. My wife can program my digital snores to sound like Josh Groban singing.

4. Nobody can accuse me of spending too much time on Facebook.

5. If I do go digital, my ringtone will be the Gilligan’s Island theme song.

6. When my wife wants to have a serious discussion, Digital Mike will just switch to sleep mode.

7. Digital Mike will leave far less messes around the house.

8. My romantic overtures to Mrs. Henneke would take on a whole new meaning. (Care to reboot my software tonight?)